Start Over and Washed Clean

My mind is somewhat foggy tonight. Ed thoughts are filling it, but I am battling against them. I deserve better and I want better, therefore I will fight for better. However, it is tiring to fight and does cause my mind to become slightly overwhelmed. So where else do I go but to my itunes play list where the first song that starts playing is "Start Over Again" by Addison Road. The lyrics start off as:

Open up your eyes
Awake, arise
Love like a hand reaches down
And pulls us up from the dirty ground
Now is the time
To step from the dark into the light
Cause you can’t change what you’ve done

But you can choose who you’ll become

(CHORUS)
Every moment is a second chanceAt starting over, at starting over
Move from the past to the present tense
You can start over, start over again

If you feel ashamed
Of the choices that you’ve made
You can be whole again
And return to your innocence

It is perfect for the day. Yesterday was just an ordinary day, but today we woke up in remembrance of Christ's rising. His death symbolizes all our sins being washed away. Guilt, pride, ignorance, idols, perfectionism, addictions. He takes them all away if I allow it. Our pastor asked today if we truly believed in the resurrection. This question caught me off guard because I mean, obviously I believe. But then he went on to say how if we truly believed, then we would not worry about the little parts of life, we would give over our sins, because we know that we exit from this life instantly into the our next, eternally with God. Later he posed the question of: "What are you doing with your life?" Again this got me thinking, and overthinking, then back to reality. Right now, I am proud to say that I'm gaining my life back. While I may at times "feel ashamed of the choices I've made" today Christ rose so I "can be whole again and return to innocence." I can make whatever I want of my life. The opportunities are endless. The canvas of my life is blank, I can paint it however I like. This excites me. While there may be some things that come up that I don't necessarily want on my canvas, I can always develop it into something new. Everything that happens does not have to be the end of that happening; instead it can continue to develop into something greater, better; something that I desire and that God wishes for me.