Search for Motivation

I wish I could repeat this past weekend. It was wonderful, life-changing, memorable, and exhausting all at the same time. It all started with getting on an airplane to head to Nashville, TN for a weekend at a retreat: Beyond Eating Disorders, put on by Thom Rutledge and Jules Merryman. I was shaking, having difficulty breathing, my heart skipping throughout the whole plane ride. I had been really struggling for the two weeks prior, making my treatment team throw around the words In-Patient again. I never wanted to get stuck in the pattern of going in and out of facilities. I had to make this work. I WANT to make this work! So I told myself that I would give the weekend my all in hopes of finding motivation to take another step forward.

Over the weekend, I made myself vulnerable many times, got back to eating my meal plan, saw some amazing women who mean the world to me reminding me why I want to recover: to be able to form more memories with these woman, and I found what I was looking for: MOTIVATION.

Just in a weekend of eating well again, I have felt more energized, less heart palpitations, and less light headed. It feels great! I felt loved during the short 3 days. I began to believe again that I can recover. I can be a witness to the possibility that there is a life without Ed. I can help others some day after I help myself. I can accomplish my dreams. I am worthy of all these things!

My challenge to you is to write down your passions, your dreams, your joys and tell yourself with each one that with recovery, these are possible. Because they ARE! You won't be the only one for them not to happen for, you're not that special.