Tough Love

Tough love. Its the greatest form of love I believe. I've received it from many wonderful friends and family members. Sometimes this love is so tough that I tell myself that they don't love me and that's why they're being so mean, when actuality is that they love me so much that they are having to put themselves through the pain of being that tough one in order for me to really hear what they have to say. Jesus sacrificed his life for us. That love is unmeasurable and he was in tremendous pain.

Someone told me today that I should create that tough love voice for myself. I have seen how much the love people have given me has impacted me, so why not create a voice inside me. One that goes with me always. One that I can have to constantly remind me of how much I am loved. Maybe this voice will allow me to love myself. This is not to be confused with the critical bully voice that gets after me for every wrong turn I make, even though Ed told me it was the right turn. Instead, this is a voice that tells me that I am worth the pain and frustration because on the other side is freedom. This voice believes in me and isn't going to settle for anything less than me being true to myself. How to begin this process of creating a voice that if I ever had, has been silenced for years, I do not know. However, I will explore this.

First, I can say what it isn't. Tough love does not expect perfection. Perfection is unattainable and unrealistic, not to mention not real. Tough love is not critical or judgemental. Tough love is not a punishment.

So if its not all those things, tough love must be real. It must be genuine and full of compassion. It must be a reward, ongoing. It must be something that I deserve having. Lastly, tough love brings about happiness and joy for it is a pure and devoted love, one that does not come and go, but is unconditional and true.